December has to be one of the hardest months for many people, honestly, most often, me included. I find myself not always finding the joy and peace that is said to be abundant in this month and instead finding stress, obligations, and frustration. This year I’ve made some big life decisions. This means where I’m choosing to find my holiday joy and peace this season don’t lie in the usual places. Instead, I’m going to have to take it upon myself to find it in new, exciting haunts.

I want to share with you what I’ve been doing this season to find peace and joy within myself and the world around me. Especially when right now, it feels pretty hard to do so.

I want to be clear that not everyone celebrates Christmas anyways. Some people don’t celebrate any holidays and some choose to celebrate old traditions rather than holidays. Each of these is welcome and can have space held for these practices.

But now, let’s jump into the ways I’m showing up this month and season…

1. Choosing to Find Joy with Chosen Family Throughout December

I used to put all the holiday pressure on one big family gathering at Christmas. This year, my plan is to intentionally create smaller, more intimate moments with my chosen family. These don’t have to be grand festivities or elaborate celebrations – they’re actually more likely to be the opposite. I’m looking to find more moments of stillness and connection. Quiet, cozy moments that can be appreciated for what they are without draining my energy or bank account.

For me, this can look like a few, different things. Maybe meeting up with a best friend for coffee on a random Wednesday morning, where we can chat about life while watching the snow fall outside. Or an impromptu movie night where we all show up in our comfiest clothes and bring a snack. Mostly just bringing ourselves and our authentic presence. Maybe for you it looks like taking a winter stroll with a friend, your hands wrapped around warm drinks, and talking about everything and nothing at all.

What I love about this approach is that it takes the pressure off any single event to be “perfect.” Instead, I’m choosing to weave a tapestry of connection throughout the entire month. These casual meet-ups create ongoing support and understanding, especially during a time when many of us might be feeling more vulnerable or isolated. Plus, there’s something especially intimate about sharing these small moments. And they often lead to deeper conversations and stronger bonds than any holiday party could create.

2. Choosing to Dawdle More and Relax into the Flow

In past Decembers, I’ve often found myself rushing from one thing to the next. Trying constantly to check off lists and meet arbitrary deadlines that society (and my own anxious brain) has set for me. This year, I’m actively choosing to do the opposite. I’m giving myself permission to dawdle, to take the scenic route, to move at a pace that feels nourishing rather than depleting.

What does dawdling look like for me? Check out this post for some slow moments I’ve taken so far this month. Taking the long way home just to look at neighborhood decorations. Spending an extra ten minutes in bed in the morning, listening to the winter birds outside my window. Letting myself get lost in a book without watching the clock, or taking twice as long to drink my tea because I’m actually savoring it rather than gulping it down between tasks.

There’s something especially powerful about choosing slowness during a season when the natural world itself is also slowing down. The rest of society seems to speed up with the thrill of holiday chaos. But I’m choosing to match my rhythm to shorter days and longer nights. This might mean saying no to some invitations, or choosing to spend an evening doing absolutely nothing productive. That’s a-okay. Actually, it’s more than okay – it’s a form of resistance against the constant pressure to hustle, even during what should be a restful time of year.

3. Leaning Into Personal Indulgence Even If It’s Not Financially Expensive

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to truly indulge in ways that satiate my soul. And by that I mean not just my immediate dopamine cravings. And you know what? Most of the things that make me feel deeply satisfied and cared for don’t actually cost much – if anything at all.

For me, indulgence looks like wrapping myself in my softest blanket and reading poetry out loud to myself. It’s taking an extra-long shower and actually using those fancy bath products that I usually “save for a special occasion.” It’s making myself a cup of hot chocolate with the little marshmallows and drinking it while watching the snow fall, or spending an hour creating the perfect cozy playlist for winter evenings.

Sometimes it’s as simple as giving myself permission to nap in the middle of the day, or sitting in silence for twenty minutes just because I can. Other times, it might be putting on my favorite outfit – even if I’m not going anywhere – just because it makes me feel good in my body. I could even be pulling an affirmation card from your favorite mindfulness card deck (like the Positive Snark Affirmation Deck). The key isn’t what the indulgence is, but rather the intentionality behind it. It’s about treating myself with the same care and consideration I’d offer a dear friend.

This kind of personal indulgence feels especially important during a season when we’re bombarded with messages about buying things to show love or find joy. But real indulgence, the kind that fills you up from the inside, rarely comes with a price tag. It’s about creating moments of pure pleasure and self-connection, whatever that looks like for you.

4. Setting Intentions That Feel Satiating and Fulfilling

I’m choosing to not get caught up in the “new year, new me” messaging that starts creeping in during December. Instead, I’m choosing to set intentions that actually feel nourishing and authentic to who I am right now. These aren’t your typical resolutions about changing myself or fixing perceived flaws – they’re gentle guideposts for how I want to feel and move through this season.

Some of my intentions are surprisingly simple: to laugh more freely, express my needs more clearly, and make space for both joy and grief as they arise. Others are more specific, like dedicating time each week to write in my journal without judgment. And some are things like practicing saying “no” to things that don’t align with my energy levels or values. What matters isn’t the size or scope of these intentions, but how they resonate with my true self.

I find there’s something particularly powerful about setting these kinds of intentions during the darkest part of the year. While others might be focused on the rush toward the new year, I’m trying to sink deeper into the present moment, to really feel what my mind and body are asking for. Sometimes that means sitting with uncomfortable feelings. But more often it means discovering small pockets of peace I might have missed if I were focused only on what’s ahead.

One last thought on choosing to find joy this season, my friend…

As December begins to unfold around us, I’m learning that finding joy and peace doesn’t have to look like what we see in holiday movies or on social media. Sometimes it’s in the quiet moments, the slow meandering, small personal indulgences, or in setting intentions that truly resonate.

Whatever this month holds for you – whether you’re celebrating holidays or simply trying to make it through – I hope you can find your own version of peace and joy. Remember that you’re allowed to create traditions and practices that feel authentic to you. And that’s even if (especially if) they don’t match what everyone else is doing.

And if you’re struggling to find those moments of light during this darker season, know that you’re not alone. Sometimes just giving ourselves permission to experience December differently is the greatest gift we can offer ourselves.